03 June 2007

The Hustler Challenge

It's a rainy Sunday in Washington. The perfect kind of day to enjoy a pot of coffee and the Sunday paper. So I'm reading the Washington Post, which isn't the most stimulating newspaper on the planet, but it will suffice for a day like this.

Given how dull the Post is, you have to imagine my utter delight at the full-page ad I have just come across:

"Larry Flynt and Hustler Magazine announce a cash offer of up to $1 Million"

All you need to do is prove that you have had sex with a "current member of the United States Congress or a high-ranking government official."

What about wives and husbands, you ask? It says that the encounters need to be of an "illicit" nature, so I guess that rules out the marital bed.

The ad goes on to say that the "relations" need to "documented" and I guess for $1 million you're going to need more than a semen-stained linen dress from The Gap...as if they even do cute dresses anymore.

In any case, if this ad speaks to you, please call 1.800.251.2714 or email hustler@lfp.com with your hotel receipts, racy pics, etc.

I'm guessing the Blackberries around town are heating up with counter-offers...