Okay, you know how it is:
You're waiting patiently in a long line in the grocery store. You're in the middle of the line just behind the barrier that separates one line from the next. You're chilling and thinking about how grocery stores are practically the same all over the place, since the line immediately to the right is empty and with that many people waiting why don't they open it up. Suddenly it does open up and the cashier beckons for people in your line to move over to her.
Joy!
But before you can take a step, some assclown from the very back of the line runs up and starts putting his stuff down on the belt.
What to do, what to do?
Well, in the little story that just unfolded in my neighborhood supermarket, the guy in front of me calmly walked over and put his stuff down on the belt in front of the assclown's stuff . . . To which the assclown graciously replied, "Sure, go ahead."
I was already behind the guy in front of me (and way the hell in front of the guy from the back of the line), so I placed my things on the belt behind the guy who was in front of me and in front of the assclown . . . To which the assclown not-so graciously replied, "I didn't mean you, but go ahead."
Ah Berliners, famous throughout Germany for their politeness . . .
What to do, what to do?
Well, first I gave him "The Smile." Then I replied, "But since I was already ahead of you I don't actually need your permission, do I?"
Flawless delivery . . . Goethe Institute style, baby . . . yeah!
Stunned, he could only nod and utter a weak, "Ach so . . ."
"Ach so" my ass . . .
You clown.
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You're lucky you got out of there before his wife/girlfriend showed up with the *rest* of the stuff they were buying.
ReplyDeleteAnd before the cashier totalled everything up and he did the "What? I have to *pay* for it?" thing and couldn't find his wallet.
hahahaha!
ReplyDeleteHe's lucky the German language doesn't have more interesting curse words.
Assclown.. that's a new one for me! Thanks Inez! Supermarket lines can sometimes be like being in the film Deliverance. Sometimes, I'm the Jon Voight of the place. :P
ReplyDeletehahahahaha!!
ReplyDeleteI was definitely a Deliverance hillbilly in this case, as in, "Where you going city boy?"
That Hillbilly Rasin did you well Inez.
ReplyDeleteAs i traveled the world i realised that a Southern accent does make people give you the Deliverance grin about a shallow gene pool.
But then i noted how well they took care of you and didn't say anything rude or make comments either. When you say "Stop this isn't fair and i plan to show you how this is suppose to work in a democracy". Neither did they challenge you.
Right or Wrong, well that often involves the circumstances and time to decide if it was a Good or Bad decision,
Right or wrong, good or bad the one uncontested fact about this is a Southern Accent will get you some immidate RESPECT as Aretha says. There have been to many people around the world who made the mistake of insulting a Hillbilly.
Only then to have there Assclouwn ass handed to them as they get up off the floor if they try to get up. In my youth they tended to just stay there content to apologise for there mouth. Yes my mother lived with a Black man in the South. Kids at school knew it but after i got apologies from the few that were still on the floor that didn't happen as much. They couldn't take me to the principals office because that involved calling my Mother and if you think i was bad. She was the Woman dating the Black Guy
Being Physical with a man was not a problem for her. I know. To add insult to injury she always ended the conversation with. Now ill wait here till you call the Police so you can tell them how this woman just busted your mouth for you not knowing how to use it with respect. There they would sit on there ass looking like a clown. In all the instances with my Mother and some assclown i never once felt as i had to intervene.
The Words "watch that mouth" come to mind.
I use it as a warning to all to tread lightly in your speech. Although today i have a better use of the language and the need to be physical out of frustration is not as important.
Marty, your momma sounds like one hell of a woman. And you know what they say, "fruit don't fall too far from the tree." ;-)
ReplyDeleteSmart-mouthing that German assclown in his own language was really the only way to go for me. If I had been nasty and used a bunch of foul language, then he would have felt justified in not showing me any respect in the first place.